Whispers and Blossoms

Internal whispers and swiftly passing memories. Droplets of sunshine fall from the heavens and peace finds its way back. I become aware of myself at long last and I can't seem to remember why I had been in such a horrifically naive state. Granted the future is unwritten and many pages await the sacred ink, but God is the loving writer. He is the gentle guiding hand that paints every moment on a beautiful canvas and hangs it on an eternally stretching wall. Love is what sends us in the right direction and sends out hearts soaring among the clouds and into the stars. As the small voice talks to us it is recognized as our spirits. The soul within our bodies is a powerful thing which is strongly in tune with everything holy. Listen to it. It wants what is best for you and in turn what the Father wants for you.

Fingers dance across a piano and produce a melodic echo that sends chills of nostalgia surging through every vein. The deep tones and light keys play with my imagination and stokes the fire burning behind my eyes. Every second comes storming back as if breaking into a forbidden castle of dreams and prosperity. The clarity of the visions found me and so did tears. The rock that was once holding this castle together is now gone and at first it seemed to be crumbling. That is until a greater, stronger rock was found and now the stone fortress only grows more fortified each day.

I walk a path far beyond the mountains and past the humble village. I travel to the north west and find vast rows of cherry blossom trees. Their pink pedals falling and swirling in the winds. They float by me and wrap around my body once and then carry on. I smell the air and it is the essence of rose and moisture. For a minute I swear I saw a figure in this field with me, but it could just be my active imagination. That is until I heard foot steps rush from one of the trees and across the lush grass. It was a boy with blonde hair and modern looking clothes like from the world we all live in. It was not likely in this world to look in such a way.

I yelled for him to wait, but he kept on running. I briefly saw his face and I thought I saw...hazel eyes.

A Peaceful Revelation

I find it funny. The overwhelming revelation of it all. It's almost as if the feeling rushed over me and the realization is blossoming into a massive garden. By now you must be wondering what "It" I could be talking about. I am referring to the views of this world.
It's funny how many people go through life seeing only what the mainstream media has to offer. They scream, "Life is chaos! The world is doomed! The sky is falling!", but when you take a few steps back and just breathe you'll find yourself dreaming. Not only dreaming, but seeing the world for what it really is. You begin to see it through God's eyes.
Yes, there is war, violence, disease, and disaster, but is that all the world ever is? Have we become to enveloped in sorrow and pain that we've gone numb to anything else this planet has to offer? God certainly wouldn't want it that way. He doesn't place the world in front of us so that we can live in fear...He places it in front of us so we know that he exists and can live in adventure!
I think in silence and feel air flowing across my back, but as I think the wonders of this world are revealed. Those visions of far off places bring me peace and they bring me hope. Sitting in the backyard of a villa in Tuscany with only the company of a few birds, a gorgeous vineyard of grapes, and the pages of a fantasy novel sprouting more dreams in my mind. Meandering the streets of Rome and leaving no statue unseen. Exploring the fields of Florence. Seeing Ireland and the never ending green that has been set there.
When we step away from the panic and discord we witness a more brilliant world, not full of anger or depression, but filled with passion, love, and beauty. So, perhaps the sky isn't falling. I find that the world of chaos is an illusion, for the most part that is, but the world of adventure, of life, of brilliance...now that's reality. It sits right in front of us for the taking...An adventure bestowed to us by God. Will you take it? Or will Fear reside within your heart? Just remember this...Fear is indeed an illusion of doubt, but Courage is for certain.

Summers Passed

I can feel it. The smell in the air of barbecued food and bone fires. I can hear the sound of six string guitars playing in the wind. I can taste the water falling from the sky as the monsoons sweep across the desert. I can see the sun bursting into shades of orange as it hits the horizon at the end of a long day. The breeze feels warm and I feel nostalgia seeping into every corner of my mind. The days when I used to run, play, and laugh with the old faces. Back in time when I was growing and had no worries of the adult world. I long for those summer days when I felt invincible and I was able to do anything.
Those summer days are what kept me going. They are what kept me human. Perseverance found me one summer day with inspiration following close behind. A story had started then...A story of a young man and his destiny, but that's not the only one that began that day. Another story came to be...The story of a boy, his dreams, and the inner world they had become. Beach, Forest, Mountain, and Sky...all combined to create the essence of this boy's imagination and source for his creations. One day this boy grew...as we all must do. He is a man now and lives among the darkness of the adult world, but holds on tightly to the world still deep inside...The world from his child times. At day this man dreams of infinite possibilities and at night he catches fire flies by a grand oak tree with the ones he loves.
How those summers just passed right by, but there are many more to come and many dreams to still be dreamed. So, where shall the journey of life lead this man? Only God knows and that...The man surely trusts in.

Confusion Among Resolutions

Confusion corodes my mind in every way possible. The confusion of life, love, God, and death. I wish to go through with a glorious trail behind me and a blazing horizon in front of me, but what if I make the wrong choice for my life? What if i'm wrong and the results end in hell fire? These questions are the ones that can never be answered with a clear answer. Nothing is 100 % in this world...the only thing that I find to be true and clear is God's love. I'm done being selfish, i'm done subsiding to sin, i'm done with satan and his minions...I hate them with the burning passion of God and his legion of angels.
So, what do I choose? What is the right path if I know what I want and I know how to be happy? Is this one thing truely against God's wishes for my life? As I said before, confusion has been ruleing my mind. It has made me turn my blessed life into two parts. On one side, I was successful, loving, and thoughtful...on the other, I was greedy, lustful, and ashamed.
With the passing of times and ages how do we know the same rules apply? What can we do to discover within ourselves and within God what is truly right? I can't trust the world anymore, I can barely trust myself...the only one I can trust is God. His word was set for us thousands of years ago. It is the story of his love for the world and what he did to save us from eternal damnation. It was not created to be a tool for hate, critisism, racism, sexists, or even homophobia.
Love...it's really a powerful thing and the love that God has for his believers is so vast and never ending...how could he deny the chosen ones access into his kingdom? The chosen ones; The ones who truly believe within their hearts that christ died for our sins and rose again, the ones who praise God when there is success and when there is downfall, the ones who become baptised with the holy spirit, the ones who can't help who they are, but stray from sinful nature and instead strive to make it meaningful and pure.
So, the questions that we must ask ourselves and that God asks us everyday is...One.) In your heart, who do you want to be? 2.) Who do you want to lead the way...you or God?
Yes, it may be scary to not have control and it isn't easy, but God never promised an easy life...he promised a meaningful one. Isn't that what this is all about? Meaning and purpose? Love and passion? Purity and trust?
Life is a gigantic journey...One that we cannot and should not take alone.

The Christmas Curse

The snow covered roads of Cheyenne, Wyoming were my only surrounding as I drove my black mustang through town. The streets were eerily lit with a few dim street lights illuminating the way. I pressed on the gas gently as to not exceed a safe speed on the ice. Snowflakes flew at my windshield as my wipers worked desperately to clean the glass. My gaze was fixed on the road ahead and I could feel every strand of colorful lights flash through my car and onto my face, but in that same second I was once again swallowed by the night.
I hated this time of year. It was so cold and lonely. Most people love it, because of the safe, warm fires and hot chocolate fresh out of the pot. Family and friends constantly smiling and being thankful for one another, but for me…it was simply a nightmare. Every year, around the holidays, I am always alone. I am always abandoned. I am not crazy and it’s not my imagination. Ever since the beginning of high school I have had this knack for terrible winters. It was always something different. I was dumped by a girl. Well, that happened more than once. All of them either, left me, cheated, moved away, or…grimly, one girlfriend passed away. It was a tragic accident. It was something as simple as slipping on the icy sidewalk.
I’ve stayed single ever since. That was five years ago and I’m twenty seven now. Unfortunately, I have suffered more downfalls. I’ve been in major debt, my house caught on fire, I broke a leg and an arm at the same time, and lastly, all of my friends moved away.
Maybe I was delirious or over-exaggerating. I mean, my parents and little sister still loved me. I thought of this as I parked my car on the large gravel driveway. Decorations and lights covered the front yard of the beautiful country home. I could see candles and dim lamp lights shining in the cozy corners of each window. I know I should be thankful for at least my family, especially since the season called for it, but I continued to wear a bitter frown.
As I walked out of the snow and into the cozy, warm home I had a sense of nostalgia. I wiped my shoes on the rug and when I looked up my sixteen year-old, little sister leapt in for a hug. “Danny!” I was surprised by her and smiled from her familiar excitement.
“Hey, Megan…How are you?” I asked as she released her embrace.
“I’m great! We just got finished wrapping all the presents and making dinner. So, you showed up just in time.”
“Well I can stay for dinner, but I have to get back to my apartment soon.” I explained as she helped me with my coat.
“But Danny…its Christmas Eve…don’t you want to stay in your old room? Why do you want to go back to your apartment so bad?”
“Megan, it isn’t that I don’t want to stay with you three for Christmas…it’s just I…” I looked away, feeling tears starting to well up inside me. I starred and an old photo of me when I was eighteen. My parents stood behind Megan and I. She was such a little tike back then.
“I know…I miss him too. And you think it won’t be the same without him.” She was referring to the fifth figure in the picture; my younger brother, Spencer. He’s nineteen, but he will be twenty in a couple months. He recently went off to join the military and he’s been serving in South Korea for almost a year now. This would be the first Christmas we’d spend without him. Even though we always fought and argued there were times that I could never forget. They were times that stuck with me through everything bad; through this curse.
“You know what? It’s Christmas Eve so let’s try to enjoy it. Besides I’m sure we’ll be getting another call from Spencer any minute now.” I breathed deeply and my little sister smiled as to agree with me. We walked into the dining room and I saw my wonderful, loving parents standing on the other side of the table. I smiled and went in for a hug, but that’s when I froze. Something was wrong. Tears streamed down mom’s face as dad held her in his arms. Dad was gripping tightly on to the wireless phone in his right hand.
My heart pounded so hard that I could hear it beating in my skull. I struggled to fight back my own tears for I knew what had just happened. My parents had received terrible news. I did not have to ask, because I knew with my breaking heart. Spencer was dead. Every nerve on my body screamed with pain and panic. I could barely hold myself up and time seemed to have stopped.
Suddenly, in one swift motion I grabbed my coat, forgot my keys, and entered back into the snowy night. I could see my breath as I walked on. Voices called to me with each one of my steps taking farther away from the house I grew up in. There was no stopping me. I needed to clear my head before I do something crazy. I had no clue where I was going I just knew I wanted to keep walking.
The cold wrapped around my body so I crossed my arms to try to keep warm. The only lights that guided my unknown path were glowing Christmas lights from houses along the way. I came to a fork in the road then. A single street light lit up a sign. To the left were more houses, but to the right was a church. I contemplated for a couple minutes. Even though I didn’t want to believe it maybe someone at the church could help me. I didn’t see the point in walking further into slow covered neighborhoods, especially if I could get out of the cold.
I moved onward, the church coming closer. That’s when I started to hear music and laughter coming from inside. I quickly made my way to a set of double doors and wrenched one side open. I sighed at the relief of heat that met me as I stepped into the lobby. Looking around I spotted Christmas decorations all over the walls and ceiling. I saw a big, lit up Christmas tree on the right side of the church with presents and boxes under it marked: Donations.
To my surprise, there were a lot of teenagers and young adults at this Christmas party. I knew from the style of music coming from the speakers and the sheer feel of the atmosphere was youthful. There were tables with green and red clothes over them. They were holding plates and bowls of food along with bottles of soda and sparkling cider. I didn’t want to impose at all so I found a chair near the exit and wandered in my thoughts.
I could still feel the utter shock of it all. I shuddered as reality tried to push its way into my mind, but I couldn’t shake it…not this time. The curse had won. I let go at that moment and began to sob uncontrollably. Tears poured from my eyes and I clenched my fists. I honestly wanted to die. That thought cycled through my brain over and over again. “This is it…if anything would be the death of me it is this. I can’t go on anymore like this. I-I’m tired of fighting.” I whispered this to myself.
“I’m sorry? What are you saying? Are you okay?” My mind snapped back and I looked up, my face still wet from tears. A beautiful woman with long, dirty blonde hair stood in front of where I sat. She wore a red dress that matched the shade of lipstick she wore. I don’t know how my mind came to enough sanity to think this, but at that moment I saw that she was the most gorgeous being I’d ever laid eyes on. “Would you like to dance?” I was confused by the sudden question, but I humored her. I did not know this girl, but it was as if she had me in a trance.
The speakers in the church paused and then another song came on. I’ll be home for Christmas by Josh Groban. I knew that song anywhere. I felt the deep cutting irony, but my eyes kept locked on this woman’s elegance. Her gold eyes smiled back at me as we moved gracefully to the music. I could feel my sorrows melt away and I actually started to smile. When we reached the end of the song she did not move away.
“Follow me Danny. I have something to tell you.” I was shocked by what she had just said.
“How did you-
But she was already out the side exit before I could ask her my question. I followed her out and at first couldn’t spot her. As hope was about to vanish I saw here sitting under a kiosk lined with white lights. Her dress glittered in the light and she gestured me to come sit down. I warily moved closer, wondering who this mysterious woman was and how she knew my name. I gently sat next to her. She put her hands on mine.
“Danny. You’ve lost someone.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement that shook me to my core.
“How do you know that? Who are you?” I said calmly.
“That is not important. Just know that you’re being given a well deserved second chance.”
“Second chance…What are you talking about?” I was so lost and the pain was just coming back even harder than before. Although, she just continued lightly smile.
“Go home. Be with your family. Tomorrow is Christmas.”
“I can’t. I’ve decided to end my life soon. The pain is too intense to handle anymore.” Why was I telling her this?! I didn’t even know her, but it seemed to just come out like nothing. As if it was just another breath of air. Her smile did not change though. Her eyes shinned and I could not look away.
“Thank you for the dance Danny.” She got up from her seat and started to walk away.
“Wait! Where are you going?” I stood up, desperate for more comfort. She turned around and walked back to me.
“One more thing…Do you believe in God, Danny?” What an inappropriate question, but strangely I felt the desire to answer.
“I-I suppose. I just have a hard time believing in a God who would give me this curse to live with.”
“Curse?” She asked that time.
“Yes, that’s what I said. It’s a long story and I’d rather not get into it.” I looked away, but she moved closer. She put her hand on my face. “What are you-
“Ssshhhh…Close your eyes.” She spoke. I felt her kiss my forehead and then my cheek. I opened my eyes and she was gone.
Just then, my vision started to get blurry and my whole world began to spin. I couldn’t hold myself up any longer. I felt to the cold ground and lost consciousness.

I awoke to the sound of silence. I could smell coffee brewing and I felt warmth all around my body. I opened my eyes to light pouring in through a window. I jolted upright from my pillow and looked around. I was in my old room. How did I get here? Was it all…A dream? It felt too real. When I got out of my bed I looked down and saw that my coat was off and so were my shoes, but everything else I had been wearing was still on. So…it wasn’t a dream. Then who brought me here? I kept asking myself questions to get my brain fully up and running again.
“Danny! MERRY CHRISTMAS BIG BROTHER!!!” I was suddenly attacked with a hug from my little, 16 year-old sister. She always surprised me, but I loved that about her. “Time to wake up sleepy head! We gotta open presents!” I laughed as I rubbed my eyes.
“Alright, Alright, Megan. Let me get some coffee first okay?”
“Good Idea, I could go for some as well.” She smiled and turned to leave the room.
“So could I.”
My heart jumped into my throat. My eyes had to be lying to me, because I could not believe.
“Sp-Spencer?” I could barely speak. Was it really my little brother?
“Yah? How are you big bro? Merry Christmas.” I suddenly reached for his shirt and yanked him to me. I enveloped him in my arms and he hugged me as well. I squeezed, not wanting to ever let go.
“You’re really here…” I whispered.
“Yah, I got off early leave. They told me that I wasn’t needed at the moment and to go enjoy my holiday with my family. I go back in February.”
“I’m just so happy you are here little brother.” I smiled big at him as more tears began to creep past my eyes. “I love you Spencer and…Merry Christmas.” Spencer looked around awkwardly and at Megan who was smiling very big.
“I love you too Danny, now let’s go open presents. Mom and Dad are waiting.” He chuckled and his eyes got excited as he said the last part. Even though he was nineteen he still acted like a kid at times, but I couldn’t blame him. It was Christmas after all.
I walked into the living room and gazed at our families Christmas tree.
“Pretty isn’t it?” My mom asked as she came up on my left side and handed me a hot cup of coffee. I grabbed it.
“Oh thank you. Yah it really is.” I took a sip from my mug and I looked up to the top of the tree. Sitting on the top of the tree was not a star or a cross, but a light up angel wearing a beautiful red dress and red lipstick. Dirty blonde curls fell from the skin colored, plastic head and she was holding a golden book. On the book in silver writing was the word: Noel.
I smirked up at her as I took another sip of Coffee.
“Merry Christmas Noel…and thank you.”
That was the last winter that I recall anything bad ever happening to me. Every winter since then has been nothing less than a blessing. Now I understand what she meant by, “A well deserved second chance.” It’s been thirty years since then and I’ve told that story to my Grandchildren and their friends. Of course they think it’s a fairy tale or a legend, but they love it when I recite it every Christmas eve. And every time one of them says, “So much for the Christmas Curse, huh?” I laugh at the name the story was given. The Christmas Curse.
Maybe it was all in my head…maybe not. All I know for sure is that I now have a reason to live, a reason to go on, and a reason to truly believe.

Library Of Harmony

Deep in the confounds of my mind I imagine an ancient library.
A library filled with different colored books and an entire collection of pictures.
The shelves reach to the fifty foot high ceiling that is fine crafted with the most beautiful of stain glass windows.
The light from the sun pours through the colors on the ceiling casting shades and auras all over the room.
This gave the whole library a sense of magic and mystery.
Moving further to the back I see dust covered shelves with old school books and subjects that I have no interest for.
But, as I peer into the darkness in the distance of the library I can see a door. Above the door is a single flickering light bulb. The look of it made my skin crawl and the eerieness made me hesitate to move closer, but at an instant I was at the door with my hand tightly gripped around the knob. I wanted to stop and turn back, but I knew I could not. Just inside this door was not only my deepest fears, but my deepest and darkest sins.
I slowly pushed the door open and listened as it creaked to a weak hault. In the room was a desk with one chair and a simple lamp illuminating a small area. On the desk was a largely bound book that looked to be ages old. The cover was tattered and worn and the binding was made from straw and old string.
I understood what it was instantly as I opened the first page. It was not a record of my fears and sins, but a journal. It was as if I had written it all down and now I was reading my very thoughts and actions of which I am ashamed of.
I could barely handle it, the shame crawling up my spine and into my brain. I slammed the book shut as well as the door behind me as I left the room. I look up at the wonderous library before me and when I looked further in that direction I could see two double doors. The light poured through clear crystal glass windows. I started to jog, then run, and then I was sprinting towards the doors. Tears were flowing down my face as I reached out to this pure light. I slammed my body hard against the doors and they burst open. I felt to the ground, but as I picked my self back up I gazed in astonishment.
My evergreen forest, my sunset beach, my moon and starlit hill top...All three were there. And now...I had my dazzling library to add to it.
It started with a sunset and turned into a beach and as I ventured my imagination grew and so did the vision deep within. My true home is growing and every couple months or years it seems to create more for me to enjoy.
This is truly an amazing discovery.
Welcome...To The Ancient Library Of Harmony.

Vanquishing Evil

Fears shake us within our very core. This causes the sense of anxiety and helplessness. Though the world may be infested with evil acts and evil people this does not mean we can't survive. Searching deep in our hearts we will see the good that over comes even death. For the human form of life is so beautiful and yet, so fragil that only eternal light and love can set us free.

Mistakes will be made and enemies as well, but surround yourself with friends and family who love you dearly then no harm shall come to you. God, hearing the desperate cries of his faithful children consumes them in harmony and safety. No evil shall break the barrier, physical or paranormal. Nothing can break the safe, dwelling, and intoxicating love that is our savior, Christ Jesus.

So, with that said we must at some point ask ourselves who we really are meant to be? How do we go about? And if evil should threaten...how do we rise up, fearless and humble? These are questions that may be answered in prayer and meditation. Believing is the first step. Once that has settled in our hearts it is our journey to break free and give life all that we have to offer. Never give up on that bright horizon and never forget the one who placed us here out of love.